F.E.A.R.: The long term damage…

Yes, it is true, we all have it…FEAR. Sure you can break it down as “False Evidence Appearing Real” or you can choose the other one “F**k Everything And Run” but either way it is there…in all humans. However, when it comes to being an actor I would say there there is a much higher level of it, simply due to our position on the totem pole. You see because we are kinda important, and yet beyond the STARS, the last thing considered it is a very weak position…and we all inherently know it. Couple that reality with the fact that we spend SO much time basically just trying to get “those guys” (on the other side of the camera or reps) to pay attention, consider or like us…that again it becomes a REAL challenge to have a strong enough level of self-esteem to not let natural human fear literally destroy us on some level.

When you begin to factor in all of your “actor experiences” to this level of human + actor FEAR and insecurity it doesn’t take long for a basically intelligent, educated, talented and even mature person to essentially be a “desperate basket” case on some level. Now I’m not taking this the direction of self-help, therapy or hobbies. I’m not. But I am sharing with you that if you don’t LEARN “how to” manage the truth in situations and the reality of where you really might fall in a certain business or social situation you will find a way to always make yourself the bad guy or the scapegoat…and it will really be bad.

At the end of the day, most of the time I’ve discovered in my 25+ years, that people really aren’t trying to “hold you down, hurt you, dismiss you or stop you” they’re just people. And, at our core for the most part, most people all over the world in all professions are inherently selfish and look out for #1. I’m not going to discuss whether or not that is a good philosophy or platform to live by but it does create the biggest issue in human existence (in m opinion) and that is BLIND HYPOCRISY.

Waking up each day afraid is awful. Afraid no one likes you, afraid everyone is against you, afraid Hollywood (or your town) is against you, afraid you’re not worthy, afraid you might make someone mad, afraid to risk anything or try anything. If when reading this you realize that this has sort of “taken over” your mind…GREAT. Be aware of it, don’t be afraid of it, don’t be mad at it and don’t dismiss it…ever. Simply realize it is there because you’re human and it is really heightened because you’re an actor…and move on. BUT, at the same time, take whatever steps you need to in your own individual life to begin the process of NOT over-personalizing every single little or big scenario that happens. Most of the time…in ain’t about you, even when it seems like it. It is someone else’s issue.

The way I know this, and why this is a fact, is discovered in a simple phrase: “This too shall pass.” What I mean by that in practical life terms is when you have a situation, instance, conversation or issue that “seems about you” but you DON’T feed into and don’t make into chaos or add to it there is a great reality that you’ll find. Over the course of time, if you ever encounter that person again, or if it is never focused on again, when it comes up months or years later…you’ll realize that the OTHER party…may not ever really remember that you were even involved in it. That comes from and shows us, how much it was about them, and not you. And when you encounter this…don’t remind them of your involvement.

Now, I’m not discussing true bad behavior by lovers, family members, agents, managers, people who lash out and are assholes. You have to deal with those things but I’ve simply found that the real “long term damage of inherent F.E.A.R.” in our community isn’t those situations…it is tons and tons of little moments and little things and little risks and little instances the FEED our fear and keep us frozen and afraid to LIVE OUT LOUD. So I ask you initially, to simply become aware of whatever is your level of fear, and keep it close to you…work on it, massage it, practice it and finally DO things…to alleviate it.

Always on your side! @TheKevinE